Tommy's Blog

Sorry for the sudden closure. complicated-retards is down for ~~renovation~~
It's going to get back up, of course :)
Expect it to be ready by ~~April~~ May or something. idk.

I have mooooooooved.
This blog is to be kept as reference
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Tuesday, February 3, 2009
~A Whole Lot of This

8:55 AM

Sky by Joshua Radin & Ingrid Michaelson

Hello again.

So while waiting for my cousin to wake up so I can attempt to use the printer, I guess I should let some stuff out so I can at least get a better sleep tonight.

If you hate the whole lot of whining, I suggest you do not read on.

You know, it never gets this lonely while in Singapore. While everyone is going to JC, I just sat at home and watch tv. I know that the laptop is going to arrive, so there's no point in wasting money to go to a LAN shop to apply for the tests. So for the past few days you can say that I'm really just standing still. I got no where to go, nothing to do, I'm just... bored.

Everyone's out, starting a new chapter in their lives. Meeting new friends, learning new experiences. It's true, soon, the past will just be the past. No matter how much we try to preserve it, you can't stop it from decaying, deteriorating.

Disappointments are a norm in my life. I've been disappointing everyone, even myself throughout my whole life. Don't you think it's apparent that I know I've disappointed you already? I know what I'm suppose to do. Just give me my own beat. I don't need people to rush me, to push me. Give me time and I'll get it done. Even if it's late and long overdue, I always, always, get it done.

For now, the only difference between Singapore and Indonesia is the fact that I don't have to endure their annoying insults over here. Mistakes are plenty in lives, you don't have to emphasize them and use them as insults. I can as easily identify my own mistakes and don't need you to actually aggravate it. Just, buzz off.

In truth, I don't even know what I want to do. It's not that I've not been thinking about it. It's just that I've been thinking about it too much, so much so that it actually manifests itself, and now, I don't even want to think about it anymore. I know each decision carries its own consequences, and sometimes I just don't want to bear those consequences. Give me time, I will learn how to cope with them.

And don't say I don't have time. I do. Deadlines are just dates. There is always the next deadline. And don't say I'm wasting my time/life. I'd rather live a short and happy life, rather than live a long, remorseful, stressful life. I don't want to die with a deadline.

I think I've said enough. Please help me make the contents of this post within this blog. There'll be no mention of it outside my tagboard.

Regards.
Tommy.